ADD and Couples

Adults with ADD often experience relationship difficulties which devolve into cycles of shame and blame. Treatment for these relationship problems can be extremely effective sometimes saving a couple from a conflictual divorce or protecting children from persistent parental conflict.

I. Evaluate Your Relationship

Rate ( 1 - No Problem 5 - Somewhat a problem 10 - Extreme Problem)

Couples Components	Circle Rating
1) Trust	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
2) Commitment	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
3) Communication	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
4) Love	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
5) Mutual Respect	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
6) Equality of Power	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
7) Self-esteem	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
8) Equality of Responsibility	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
	Total Score:
40+ score = significant problems 30-40 score = borderline <30 score = no problems (or signicantly high scoeres in one or more areas - eg. 7-10 may indicate a problem)

II. Attitude toward Partner (What is your attitude or belief about your partner?)

Circle One

Truth-seeking vs. Deception

Incompetent vs. non-compliant

Supporter vs. Persecutor

III. ADD Couple Stages of Development

Non-ADD partner		ADD Partner
1) Helper		Helpee
2) Enabler		Do for me
3) Persecutor		You don't understand me
4) Supporter		I am responsible

1. Helper = accept limits
   Helpee = become aware of strengths/weaknesses
   
   
2. Enabler = emotionally detach; stop buffering consequences
   Do for me = self empower; self-manage
   
   
3. Persecutor = emotionally detach; understand partner
   You don't understand me = realistic self appraisal
   
   
4. Supporter = empathy vs. sympathy; self-care vs. other care
   I am responsible = empathy vs. anger; internal control vs. external control.